Opanowana przez furię zaczęłam zrzucać papierowe dokumenty, dorobek kilku dekad pracy badawczej. Z przechylonego, metalowego wózka wypełnionego ponad wszelką miarę leciały z pierwszego piętra do piwnicy książki, czasopisma – także z moimi artykułami, dokumentacja niepodsumowanych badań z ostatnich pięciu lat. Papierowe ślady życia zawodowego oraz historia ludzi ze środowisk wiejskich z którymi związał mnie wyuczony, pierwszy w życiu fach.
Przed trzema miesiącami kierowniczka działu kadr, na korytarzu, w biegu wręczyła mi krótkie pismo zwięzłej treści: W związku z nabyciem praw emerytalnych zwalniam panią z dniem – tu data. Dalej podpis: Prof. dr hab. Wojciech… pieczęć, data doręczenia.
Pełna kurtuazji treść pisma wyryła się w mojej świadomości jak pachnący spaloną skórą odcisk stempla używanego do znakowania zwierząt. Treść mojego znaku; kobieta, outsiderka, mająca swoje zdanie i nie kryjąca się z nim. Budząca strach, że dobra zawodowo może być konkurentką w drodze do kariery. Do tego maniakalnie niezależna, niesterowalna.
Gdy mówiłam, że to ja pierwsza, na fali zwolnień dostałam wymówienie wiele osób uśmiechało się, a w duchu myślało zapewne - uff … nareszcie przestanie rezonować i wygłaszać swoje, odrębne zdanie. Wymyślać coraz nowe obszary badań dokładając też innym pracy i zabierać pieniądze na realizację standardowych zadań.
Pomyślałam - nie pierwsza to w życiu niespodzianka więc i strach mniejszy. Syn żonaty, zaczynający karierę asystenta na uniwersytecie, synowa niepracująca, kończąca studia i mała wnuczka. To była silna motywacja by korzystając z wolności gospodarczej zacząć pracować na własny rachunek.
Jak zwykle w trudnych sytuacjach ni stąd ni z owąd pojawiły się osoby z mądrą radą, propozycją współpracy na zasadzie partnerstwa. I poszło… a wczesne odesłanie mnie na emeryturę odmieniło moje życie. Pracując i ucząc się nowego zawodu - wykładowcy akademickiego, na bazie trzydziesto siedmio letniego doświadczenia opracowałam i realizowałam autorskie założenia przedmiotu, użytecznego w nowych warunkach gospodarczych. Po latach pozwoliło mi to na sfinansowanie zakupu i powolne urządzenie pierwszego mieszkania. Tylko dla siebie i to w mieście marzeń, rodzinnym Krakowie. Chyba po to by kolejne wydarzenie znowu odmieniło moje życie. Na zmiany w moim życiu nie trzeba było czekać zbyt długo.
Afisz o naborze osób 50 + na kurs kreatywnego pisania był tak atrakcyjnie zakomponowany, że wylądowałam w willi Decjusza na Woli Justowskiej na trzy lata. Poznałam nie tylko przyjemność i zasady twórczego pisania ale przede wszystkim grono wspaniałych ludzi. Ich życiorysy, talenty, umiejętności i determinacja by żyć aktywnie, dzielić się nie tylko doświadczeniem ale sercem, pomocą, uśmiechem, pasją, wiedzą mogą być przedmiotem niejednego utworu literackiego każdej kategorii – od lirycznego wiersza po sagę ludzi pozytywnie zakręconych; niejako kalejdoskopu spotkań i wrażeń z kontaktów z ludźmi.
Gdy wydało mi się, że poznałam zasady pisania i mogę beztrosko poświęcić się nowemu hobby pojawił się impuls do kolejnej zmiany – niedobory finansowe. Banalna sprawa. Można przecież obniżyć standard życia i oczekiwania. A jak i to nie wystarcza? Pozostaje szukanie płatnego zajęcia. Ze względu na wiek i bagaż choróbsk, zgromadzonych dzięki eksploatacyjnemu trybowi życia, praca fizyczna nie wchodziła w grę. Ale skoro głowa jeszcze działa można poszukać zajęcia dla niej właśnie. Podjęłam się redakcji tekstu literackiego, tworzonego przez znanego mi od lat autora powieści biograficznej oraz szeregu opowieści z jego nietuzinkowego życiorysu.
W konsekwencji – zauroczona bohaterem redagowanego tekstu raz jeszcze, pewnego sierpniowego dnia, wykonałam woltę zmieniając spowalniający już bieg życia. Wędruję pomiędzy dwoma – jakże różnymi miastami, z pasją zapisuję spostrzeżenia z drogi, uprawiam zaniedbany czteroarowy ogródek oraz podjęłam się przeorania ugoru stosunków damsko-męskich.
Co będzie dalej – nie wie nikt (na melodię: jaka jestem…).
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