Nałogi

Barbara Waksmańska

Nałogi wyraźnie ode mnie stroniły. Być może bariera mojej powściągliwości była nie do przebycia...

Posłużę się przykładem. Jako nastolatka chciałam ulec nałogowi nikotynowemu. Papierosy, a były to płaskie czy damskie /jakoś tak/ miały mi dodać dorosłości i charakteru. Mordowałam się więc, puszczając dymki około roku i odpuściłam w końcu. Ileż można, żaden papieros mi nie smakował, ani pierwszy, ani kolejny... Wręcz mnie odrzucało.

Kolejny nałóg, alkoholiczny, również nie miał szans. Zdarzyło mi się upić, ale dyskomfort po... niewyobrażalny. Narkotyki? Jakoś się nie złożyło. Gry rozmaite? także samo. Chciałam dać szansę chociaż totkowi od czasu do czasu, ale się na mnie wypiął definitywnie.

Reasumując, z nałogami jest u mnie jak z wagarami. Jakoś się omskło. Chyba za sprawą wrodzonej powściągliwości, która jednakowoż trochę odpuściła. Jako dama mocno popadła w dojrzałość zaczynam odczuwać jakąś chęć nieodpartą, a skonkretyzowaną. Hazard. O tak. A konkretnie ruletka mnie nęci. Cały ten entourage... Elegancja, Francja, wieczorowe stroje, gołe plecy /trochę zimno chyba, ale co tam../, drinki wstrząśnięte, nie zmieszane, bezwstydny, odurzający zniewalający, wszechobecny zapach dużej kasy... i te teksty serwowane przez krupiera: faites vos jeux, rien ne va plus... cokolwiek to znaczy, ale jak brzmi! No i może  jeszcze trawkę…

 

 

Klub Sagi – spotkanie 10 luty 2015

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